Monday, 29 September 2008

Death Race Review

The remake of Death Race opens with the eerily real text "2012. The US economy has collapsed". Who would have thunk it? Team Jason Statham up with P.W.S Anderson and they become the cinematic equivalent of Nostradamus. This film has a prescient nature up there with the work of George Orwell. At the very least its a sign of our times, at middling Stath and Pretty Wank Scriptwriter are the harbingers of a doom that may be just round the corner. But before we get there lets enjoy some cars and shit.

Our very own Jason Statham (yes we own the rights to him being British as we are) is Jensen Ames, a former Nascar racer who is framed for the murder of his wife and sent to the toughest prison in the world. Coincidentally, or not, they have races at this prison where you can win your freedom. All you have to do is kill everyone else and win 5 races. But when our Stath realises that I wrote 'coincidentally, or not' a couple of sentences ago he begins to question why he's been brought to this particular prison. Once the penny drops, angry Stath want revenge.

Before hurting my soul by saying that Death Race is immensely enjoyable, despite its shallow nature, I just want to return to more amazing predictions that this crystal ball film makes. First there is a riot scene at the start which looks strangely like the Republican convention footage of that fat hippy getting hit with bikes. Secondly Joan Allen (as the head of the prison) is playing a bulldog with lipstick who runs the world (well the world we inhabit). And she's evangelical. And looks quite hot in a suit. Death Race is what will happen if you silly Americans don't vote in Obama! And we can't keep loaning you Jason to save the day.

So, yeah, I enjoyed this. The stuntwork over CGI was commendable. Its funny, gory, exciting. Each actor nails their role from Jase to Lovejoy and in particular Gov Palin, sorry, Ms. Allen. As it features the four elements of a lads film (guns, violence, cars, women in skimpy clothing) it has to be dumber than a bag of hammers. The offshoot of this is no Nuts or Zoo readers head is going to explode once some plot is introduced. Which is a shame. But going back to the predictions stuff, don't worry too much about this all coming true, because it does take the dystopian element a bit too far. In one harrowing scene Stereophonics are playing on the radio. Surely by 2012 we would have put a stop to this kind of thing. For the sake of humanity.

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