Sunday, 19 October 2008

Mirrors Review

Such is the abundance of reflective surfaces throughout the duration of this, the 57th J-horror of the year, I imagine the makers of Titanic took longer to settle on a definitive title. If you played a drinking game to everytime you saw a mirror or someone mentioned mirrors during this film you'd deader than Dylan Thomas and George Best before the opening credits had ended. Still even if you just played the 24 drinking game of necking a shot everytime Keifer says "dammit" you'd be pissing your kidney out of your cock in no-time.

Keifer "Jack Bauer, Jack Bauer, Jack Bauer" Sutherland plays Ben Carson, an alcoholic, ex-cop who may or may not have been responsible for killing a fellow police (this fact is largely forgotten when the spooky hits). With his wife and kids spending time away from crazy dad he gets a job as a security guard to prove his life is back on track. The job, however, is looking after a burnt down department store where the mirrors are bad. Bad mirrors. These mirrors send Keef a bit mental so as with all lame remakes Keef gotta find out why.

As its pretty much the Sutherland show the weight of a certain CTU agent hangs heavy over Mirrors. As well as the trademark 'dammits' Keef acts by talking in quiet hushed tones one minute, and the next, he's bellowing "I'm not crazy" in a very crazy fashion indeed. But this is pretty much the most enjoyable thing in Mirrors, seeing how Jack, Ben will go. While for the majority of the film he struggles to keep a lid on it by the end he's holding up nuns at gunpoint threatening to shoot thm in their nunny faces if they don't agree to be turned mental. Go Jack!

The idea of mirrors (or any reflective surface) as the bogeyman is quite a neat idea if you're a bit of a wimp like me, because on exiting the film everywhere you go your bound to bump into you. This horror in the everyday deserves a better vehicle though than this mechanical, by the numbers fright fest. As for the multiple endings, well the first is okay, the second is laughable and the third doesn't quite make sense. Leaving you pondering the question Mirror, Mirror on the wall why did I watch this film at all? Worst ending to a review...ever.

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