Sharkwater Review

This is gonna be a slighty brief review because, well, I don't have a lot to say about a film that scrapes 75 minutes in length when most of the running time consists of sharks swimming to the strains of Portishead. Don't get me wrong I like Portishead but sharks swimming, its what they do people! Its kinda like filming people walking about for an hour and then going ooh and aah. Y'know like Cloverfield.

Sharkwater is a documentary about sharks and how they ain't as bad as people say. Cool. I'm down with that. I also agree wholeheartedly about the deplorable action of driving species to the brink of extinction for profit. What I'm not down with is the amount of love the main guy, Rob Stewart, gives to sharks. During the opening he describes them as 'the most beautiful thing in the world.' (Personally I'd go for a breathtaking sunset, a supernova exploding or Miss Natalie Portman but each to his own).

Personal taste to one side, Rob Stewart is exactly the kind of person that will put you off animal conservationists. A preppy little shit with a cool spiky haircut that probably got his film equipment and travelling expenses from his trust fund (Yes I am bitter I don't have a trust fund). Crying about how when he saw some dead sharks he felt like his family had died. In my notes (for this is the kind of film you can easily take notes) I wrote "This guy loves fucking sharks". I meant to write "This guy fucking loves sharks" but in hindsight...

On a humourous note, IMBD says that if you like Sharkwater it recommends Deep Blue Sea. Ha.