Thursday, 19 June 2008

The Incredible Hulk Review

Come on Comic-book geeks! Lets petition Hollywood for a Supervillain movie. They are always the more interesting character, usually played by the better actor and most of all they want to achieve their goals so much more than the heroes do. I'm so sick and tired of awesome bad guys being stopped by 'super'heroes that don't even want their powers. Yeah reluctant heroes in the John McClane/Indy Jones mould are cool but given the option those two guys wouldn't seek an antidote to their wisecracking/escape from death at the last minute ways. So why are the comic book heroes always looking for a 'cure'?

This time round its Bruce Banner V2.0 (Edward Norton) being the big wet fish that wants his powers to go away. Just because when he gets angry he kills everyone around him. Boo and indeed Hoo. Playing his nemesis, the fantastically named Emil Blonsky is Tim Roth who wants the power for himself. Yay go Emil! Firstly he sounds like someone you'd find in Euro 2008, possibly playing for Russia, and secondly he's well 'ard. The kind of scray 'ard that makes him instantly brilliant. THATS WHO I WANT TO WIN. HIM! I'm cheering for that guy.

Well people aren't going to listen to me on these things so I'll just get on with the reviewing of the film then. And its all a little by the books. In fact such is the 'we don't want people thinking its as girlie as the first film' attitude we never really settle on any scene for more than a minute. I suppose this makes it feel very comic booky. Its almost as if a page is all we get before we have to turn to something new. Take a stopwatch in with you and see for yourself. No more than a minute before you're moved on to some new setting with different characters I guarantee you.

This also leads to the dialogue being incredibly sparse which when you compare it to the recent Iron Man (getting some lovely nerdy nods) seems a shame, because Downey Jr's banter is what set that apart from some of its po-faced cousins. If you're a bit of a geek who likes this sort of movie you certainly won't be tearing up your laminated copy of the Marvel Annual (because its hard to tear something thats laminated) but you may be shrugging your shoulders a little, in the vain hope that the third time they might get it right.

This isn't part of the review but it must be said. All those who get paid to write about films and used the term "You will like him now he's angry" or any variation of, you should die. Please, Please Die. And soon. Like in the next couple of days. Because if i ever find you I will spitroast you with your press badge up your arse and the pay cheques that you don't deserve rammed down your throat. Thank you for listening.

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