This is gonna be a slighty brief review because, well, I don't have a lot to say about a film that scrapes 75 minutes in length when most of the running time consists of sharks swimming to the strains of Portishead. Don't get me wrong I like Portishead but sharks swimming, its what they do people! Its kinda like filming people walking about for an hour and then going ooh and aah. Y'know like Cloverfield.
Sharkwater is a documentary about sharks and how they ain't as bad as people say. Cool. I'm down with that. I also agree wholeheartedly about the deplorable action of driving species to the brink of extinction for profit. What I'm not down with is the amount of love the main guy, Rob Stewart, gives to sharks. During the opening he describes them as 'the most beautiful thing in the world.' (Personally I'd go for a breathtaking sunset, a supernova exploding or Miss Natalie Portman but each to his own).
Personal taste to one side, Rob Stewart is exactly the kind of person that will put you off animal conservationists. A preppy little shit with a cool spiky haircut that probably got his film equipment and travelling expenses from his trust fund (Yes I am bitter I don't have a trust fund). Crying about how when he saw some dead sharks he felt like his family had died. In my notes (for this is the kind of film you can easily take notes) I wrote "This guy loves fucking sharks". I meant to write "This guy fucking loves sharks" but in hindsight...
On a humourous note, IMBD says that if you like Sharkwater it recommends Deep Blue Sea. Ha.
Friday, 29 February 2008
Semi Pro Review
Some people like Will Ferrell. Some people don't like Will Ferrell. Some beleive him to be a God of comedy, others want to smash his face in with a brick. I think he's stupid. I think he has a stupid face, he says stupid things and he acts stupidly. This abundunce of stupidity, in my mind makes him very funny and after a couple of misses with Talladega Nights and Blades Of Glory he is back on top form with Semi Pro.
Will is, the aburd and of course stupid, Jackie Moon. A one hit wonder with the disco anthem Love Me Sexy, he now owns, coaches and plays in the Flint Michingan Amateur Basketball team. For Jackie and his team the dream to play in the NBA is dangled in front of them under the proviso that they finish in the top 4 and raise their attendance. To help with their promotion bid they enlist the help of an NBA has-been and to raise the gate Jackie tries increasingly elaborate methods of promotion.
These last two features of the movie ably sum up where the story comes from and where the jokes come from. When Jackie is wrestling bears and jumping over cheerleaders on rollerblades the laughs are constant and big. When Woody Harrelson pops up to inspire the team and it becomes an underdog sports movie, the film grinds to a halt. His scenes with the lovely Maura Tierney seem to belong to another movie entirely. But hey, the guy is high so much he probably thought he was making another movie. God bless him.
The 70's soundtrack is at times irritatingly overfamilier, even if Jackies hit that opens the movie is worth a chuckle on the cover alone. The highlight, as always in the sports movie as comedy, is the sparring commentators. This time around its Will Arnett and Andrew Daly fulfilling their roles with perfection. They manage to scene steal in a way that makes you think they could have their own movie. Now thats not a bad idea! The Commentators. I can see it now.
Will is, the aburd and of course stupid, Jackie Moon. A one hit wonder with the disco anthem Love Me Sexy, he now owns, coaches and plays in the Flint Michingan Amateur Basketball team. For Jackie and his team the dream to play in the NBA is dangled in front of them under the proviso that they finish in the top 4 and raise their attendance. To help with their promotion bid they enlist the help of an NBA has-been and to raise the gate Jackie tries increasingly elaborate methods of promotion.
These last two features of the movie ably sum up where the story comes from and where the jokes come from. When Jackie is wrestling bears and jumping over cheerleaders on rollerblades the laughs are constant and big. When Woody Harrelson pops up to inspire the team and it becomes an underdog sports movie, the film grinds to a halt. His scenes with the lovely Maura Tierney seem to belong to another movie entirely. But hey, the guy is high so much he probably thought he was making another movie. God bless him.
The 70's soundtrack is at times irritatingly overfamilier, even if Jackies hit that opens the movie is worth a chuckle on the cover alone. The highlight, as always in the sports movie as comedy, is the sparring commentators. This time around its Will Arnett and Andrew Daly fulfilling their roles with perfection. They manage to scene steal in a way that makes you think they could have their own movie. Now thats not a bad idea! The Commentators. I can see it now.
Monday, 25 February 2008
I Wish I Were an Oscar Winning Weener!
The 8oth Academy Awards has come and gone and all is pretty well right in the movie world. No Forrest Gump, Driving Miss Daisy or Moonstruck to make me retch up a lung. Instead as Jon Stewart deflty put it 'Does Hollywood need a hug?'. Many of the frontrunners being violent, intense and very un-Gump like. Which is a very, very good thing.
For the first time ever I'd managed to watch all the best pic noms, so could quite comfortably give an opinion and not feel like a fraud. The problem was I didn't give an opinion, except to pick what I thought would win (13 out of 24 isn't bad), because I would have been happy if any had of taken the big prize. In the end it was No Country that took the fairest share of the spoils. And fair enough too.
When Daniel Day Lewis won there was a certain amount of 'well, yeah' about it, as everyone loves a surprise. But everyone can just fuck off because he made that film in a way no other actor could and thats the point of the awards really. Diablo Cody picked up my favourite award (the one I will one day take home) for Juno and no complaints there. Best speeches went to the actresses, Tilda's funny and Marion's just the right side of overwhelmed.
My favourite winner though (mainly because I knew my girlfriend would be jumping up and down like a 6 year old after eating a months supply of sugar cane) was Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for Best Original song for Once. And the icing on the cake being Jon Stewart bringing Marketa back on when her speech was cut short. What a Guy. No one brings the relaxed nature or ribs the pomp of the academy as Jon. May he present all the ceremonies from here until the end of the Republican Party.
For the first time ever I'd managed to watch all the best pic noms, so could quite comfortably give an opinion and not feel like a fraud. The problem was I didn't give an opinion, except to pick what I thought would win (13 out of 24 isn't bad), because I would have been happy if any had of taken the big prize. In the end it was No Country that took the fairest share of the spoils. And fair enough too.
When Daniel Day Lewis won there was a certain amount of 'well, yeah' about it, as everyone loves a surprise. But everyone can just fuck off because he made that film in a way no other actor could and thats the point of the awards really. Diablo Cody picked up my favourite award (the one I will one day take home) for Juno and no complaints there. Best speeches went to the actresses, Tilda's funny and Marion's just the right side of overwhelmed.
My favourite winner though (mainly because I knew my girlfriend would be jumping up and down like a 6 year old after eating a months supply of sugar cane) was Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova for Best Original song for Once. And the icing on the cake being Jon Stewart bringing Marketa back on when her speech was cut short. What a Guy. No one brings the relaxed nature or ribs the pomp of the academy as Jon. May he present all the ceremonies from here until the end of the Republican Party.
Sunday, 24 February 2008
There Will Be Blood Review
I know its awards season but really I'm being spoilt at the moment. From the opening shots of a pickaxe hitting the wall, accompanied by the ear piercing strings of Johnny Greenwoods score, There Will Be Blood holds you to the screen and doesn't let go. The sense of foreboding lasts for near on three hours yet clock watching is not only unneeded its almost impossible.
At the turn of the 20th century we follow the life of Daniel Plainview. He is a self proclaimed Oil Man and Family Man, and while he succeeds on all fronts on the former, the latter is his downfall. Tipped off on a small religious town by Paul Sunday (Paul Dano) to tap into unprecedented new Oil fields, Plainwiew takes his adoptive son, H.W, and attempts to bleed the town dry. There he becomes locked in a battle with Paul's brother Eli (also Dano) a fervant religious man who is out to prove himself the true saviour of the town.
The one mans life ruled by power and greed evokes memories of Citizen Kane. There was a time when even to mention that movie in the same paragraph would need to be followed with 'its not nearly as good as' but this manages to actually stand up to the Grandpa of Movies. Watching Plainview push away everyone around him because as he states "There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking" is chilling but heartfelt too.
The only unsurprising thing in this film is that Daniel Day Lewis is again superb. While the old adage, given by Laurence Olivier to Dustin Hoffman, of "Dear boy, why don't you try acting?" is written all over the intensity of his performance it really doesn't matter how much he has to immerse himself in a role. If the result is as good as this, and it usually is, then method acting should be compulsory.
At the turn of the 20th century we follow the life of Daniel Plainview. He is a self proclaimed Oil Man and Family Man, and while he succeeds on all fronts on the former, the latter is his downfall. Tipped off on a small religious town by Paul Sunday (Paul Dano) to tap into unprecedented new Oil fields, Plainwiew takes his adoptive son, H.W, and attempts to bleed the town dry. There he becomes locked in a battle with Paul's brother Eli (also Dano) a fervant religious man who is out to prove himself the true saviour of the town.
The one mans life ruled by power and greed evokes memories of Citizen Kane. There was a time when even to mention that movie in the same paragraph would need to be followed with 'its not nearly as good as' but this manages to actually stand up to the Grandpa of Movies. Watching Plainview push away everyone around him because as he states "There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking" is chilling but heartfelt too.
The only unsurprising thing in this film is that Daniel Day Lewis is again superb. While the old adage, given by Laurence Olivier to Dustin Hoffman, of "Dear boy, why don't you try acting?" is written all over the intensity of his performance it really doesn't matter how much he has to immerse himself in a role. If the result is as good as this, and it usually is, then method acting should be compulsory.
Friday, 22 February 2008
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly Review
Some days its hard to write anything, be it a screenplay, a review or even a long put off letter. You can't find the right words, you may be worried at the final outcome and you will do anything to put it off. Now imagine if to write a single word you had to listen to each letter of the alphabet and blink when you hear the right one. While this film has an extra level of depth for anyone who takes great care or interest in the written word, the true quality of this film is that it is important for absolutley everyone living and breathing.
A true story of the editor of Elle magazine, Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric), who at the age of 43 had a stroke that left him trapped in his body. Initially wanting the easier option of death he soon learns to live with his condition and carry on in spite of it. Tooled with his imagination, his memory and his left eye he sets out to write his story - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
While a film can never truly capture what it must feel like to have 'locked in' syndrome, this does a fine job of illustrating Jean Do's life. Flashbacks show him before the event but the real weight is in seeing what he sees, knowing he is unable to do anything about it. From a television set being switched off mid football match to the billowing of a skirt, hinting at something he will never get to enjoy again, the choice of point of view is heartbreaking.
While it may be the worst thing that ever happened to him it gives him the chance to see the best in people, in life and in himself. And crucially a sense of humour remains. Its this sense of humour that finally released the tears that from the beginning I was sure would come. Above all this film is ridiculously inspiring. When I am king this will be first projected on the wall, shown to everyone by law. It is really that important.
A true story of the editor of Elle magazine, Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric), who at the age of 43 had a stroke that left him trapped in his body. Initially wanting the easier option of death he soon learns to live with his condition and carry on in spite of it. Tooled with his imagination, his memory and his left eye he sets out to write his story - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
While a film can never truly capture what it must feel like to have 'locked in' syndrome, this does a fine job of illustrating Jean Do's life. Flashbacks show him before the event but the real weight is in seeing what he sees, knowing he is unable to do anything about it. From a television set being switched off mid football match to the billowing of a skirt, hinting at something he will never get to enjoy again, the choice of point of view is heartbreaking.
While it may be the worst thing that ever happened to him it gives him the chance to see the best in people, in life and in himself. And crucially a sense of humour remains. Its this sense of humour that finally released the tears that from the beginning I was sure would come. Above all this film is ridiculously inspiring. When I am king this will be first projected on the wall, shown to everyone by law. It is really that important.
Definitely, Maybe Review
When I saw the first trailer for Definitely, Maybe two things crossed my mind. Firstly that it has quite an impressive cast for a shoddy rom com and secondly the love story mystery is stolen from Broken Flowers. I'm pleased to report I am definitely wrong about this being shoddy and I may be wrong about the Broken Flowers thing. Okay I am wrong, I just wanted to do the definitely and the may be thing.
Upon finding out where babies come from, Maya (Abigail Breslin) asks her dad (Ryan Reynolds) how she came to be. She hopes that by doing so he will remember why he fell in love with her mother in the first place and not follow through with his planned divorce. To keep Little Miss Sunshine happy Van Wilder tells the story of his three big loves not letting the girl or the audience onto who is a) her mum or who is b) his number one love.
After an appaling opening in which we meet Will Hayes (film student types this is not the guy who censored Hollywood in the 30's) strutting down New York with wireless, earpiece headphones throwing information at the audeince about where his life is the film goes from strength to strength. The mystery of who will Will end up with is handled well enough to keep you guessing until the end. There must be a favourite so the payoff works, but even this fleats well between the 'fictional' Summer, April and Emily.
The so likeable he's slappable Ryan Reynolds is again so likeable that I want to slap him. The problem is I like him too much. What a quandary! All the ladies are perfectly played too. With a Nick Hornby level of knowingness to the relationship front this is superior than a vast number of romcoms and the best from the Working Title stable in quite some time.
Upon finding out where babies come from, Maya (Abigail Breslin) asks her dad (Ryan Reynolds) how she came to be. She hopes that by doing so he will remember why he fell in love with her mother in the first place and not follow through with his planned divorce. To keep Little Miss Sunshine happy Van Wilder tells the story of his three big loves not letting the girl or the audience onto who is a) her mum or who is b) his number one love.
After an appaling opening in which we meet Will Hayes (film student types this is not the guy who censored Hollywood in the 30's) strutting down New York with wireless, earpiece headphones throwing information at the audeince about where his life is the film goes from strength to strength. The mystery of who will Will end up with is handled well enough to keep you guessing until the end. There must be a favourite so the payoff works, but even this fleats well between the 'fictional' Summer, April and Emily.
The so likeable he's slappable Ryan Reynolds is again so likeable that I want to slap him. The problem is I like him too much. What a quandary! All the ladies are perfectly played too. With a Nick Hornby level of knowingness to the relationship front this is superior than a vast number of romcoms and the best from the Working Title stable in quite some time.
Thursday, 21 February 2008
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane Review
Ah bless, its my first horror film review and I made it out unscathed. No fainting, no vomiting, no crying like a girl. But hey this isn't a website dedicated to my masculinity or lack of it, (that can be found at www.owenwearsaonesie.com) this is a film review website. You want to know what the story is and whether or not its worth your hour and a half.
Well the story is a simple slasher pic. Young, nubile teens drink, take drugs and get up to rather a large amount of sexual shennanigans then get offed. The heroine is the titular Mandy Lane who wasn't always loved by all the boys but as one stereotypical jock anounces at the start of the film "Hey Mandy, you got hot over the summer!" Now that she is 'hot' she is invited to a weekend away with a select group of teens, and well, you know the rest.
While there is nothing amazingly novel about Mandy, except perhaps the fact the killer is flagged from the first stages, it does tick off some boxes usually left unmarked. The characters are fucked up, of course, but their insecurities are played well. Some are even likeable so therefore not the usual knife fodder.
First time director Johnathan Levine handles the suspense to a reasonable level. Although at times some shots do feel like they are screaming for our attention more than the dying teens. The cast all do their bit too, but if any of them breakthrough it won't be on the strength of this alone. And so the second question, Is it worth your hour and a half? You could do worse but you won't love it as much as the boys seem to love Mandy.
Well the story is a simple slasher pic. Young, nubile teens drink, take drugs and get up to rather a large amount of sexual shennanigans then get offed. The heroine is the titular Mandy Lane who wasn't always loved by all the boys but as one stereotypical jock anounces at the start of the film "Hey Mandy, you got hot over the summer!" Now that she is 'hot' she is invited to a weekend away with a select group of teens, and well, you know the rest.
While there is nothing amazingly novel about Mandy, except perhaps the fact the killer is flagged from the first stages, it does tick off some boxes usually left unmarked. The characters are fucked up, of course, but their insecurities are played well. Some are even likeable so therefore not the usual knife fodder.
First time director Johnathan Levine handles the suspense to a reasonable level. Although at times some shots do feel like they are screaming for our attention more than the dying teens. The cast all do their bit too, but if any of them breakthrough it won't be on the strength of this alone. And so the second question, Is it worth your hour and a half? You could do worse but you won't love it as much as the boys seem to love Mandy.
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