Monday, 22 September 2008

The Women Review

If I was a lesbian...No wait I mean a feminist. If I was a feminist I'd be absolutley...actually lets go back to that first one. If I was a lesbian I would be...no...okay I'll save it for another time. So, If I was a feminist I'd be so infuriantingly pissed off with Hollywood. The Women is a rare beast in that it features nothing but women (even supporting cast and extras are female). Finally a chance to say something important, something of interest. No, okay, shoes and how shit men are it is then.

What The Women would like to be is a story of the deteriaration of a marriage from the female perspective. What The Women turns out to be is a cheap Sex and the City rip off that features the main associative one (Meg Ryan), the male one (Annette Benning), the hippy one (Debra Messing) and the black lesbian one (Jada Pinkett Smith) all worrying about what other people think of them and how their lives revolve around having cock. Except in the case of the black lesbian one, i.e the interesting one. But she gets no screen time so fuck her.

All these women do is look each other up and down, despising each others very souls because they may have handbags that clash with their shoes. Or maybe someone has had some bad plastic surgery (heaven forbid anyone who grows old in this land) that they can laugh at. What could be mistaken for diatribes about superficiality aren't, because each and everyone one of them is scourning the other if they so much look at a sandwich or wear sweatpants.

Another reason these jibes don't work is that Meg looks like she's had facial reconstructive surgery performed by the Joker. I'm not one for fucking about on your spouse but I think if Harry saw what they'd done to Sally even he might stray from the coup. That or hang himself with electrical tape. As for the cameos from Bette Midler and Carrie Fisher its enough to make you vote for Sarah Palin such is the weakness of the silver screen women. Carrie, I thought you were a lesbian and a feminist. And a script doctor! Hope selling your sex down the river was worth it Leia.

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