Tuesday, 8 January 2008

P.S. I Love You Review

Q. How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. It doesn't matter they're only worried about karaoke, shoes and a deep dicking.

Offensive isn't it? But with less than a year until a female might be the most important person on the planet, (I doubt it but Barrack is gonna need an Obamamobile to stay one step ahead of the rednecks) Hollywood is still making films that suggest sex with strangers and shoes can save the day.

Hilary 'I am a great actress but what I really want to do is mainstream films' Swank plays Holly, a girl stuck in a rut, bitching about life to her husband Gerry (Gerard 'I thought he was Irish until I saw this film' Butler). Luckily for Holly, Gerry dies. Harsh I know but its the best thing for her really, now she can discover herself and make the aformentioned shoes. This apathy for Gerry and Hollys relationship is triggered by a terrible opening scene where the couple argue about money, babies and all those things that are designed to make the audience go 'yeah i worry about those things too, she's just like me' but instead leave you thinking 'chill the fuck out Swank!'

The swiftness that the director wants you to want Holly to move on is astonishing. At her husbands funeral Lisa 'maybe women shouldn't have equal rights after all' Kudrow is desperately trying to have sex with anything that moves (thankfully Gerry has been cremated so no involuntary spasms to attract said nympho). This appears to be written in just so Harry 'I can't think of a funny middle name to give him' Connick Jr can make eyes at the recently bereaved Holly without seeming like such a sleaze. It doesn't work.

Its also one of those films that doesn't so much underestimate the audiences intelligence but dangles a rattle in front of the viewers face and says coochie coo. For example, "Gerry says I have to go on holiday", "Cool where are we going?" Cut To: Rolling hills and Celtic music. Where might we possibly be, considering Gerry is from Ireland? Still don't know. Don't panic, the director chooses to put IRELAND in big Fecking letters on the screen just to give you that extra nudge you braindead simpleton. Why not add some dancing leprachauns too you plum.

I know I said this film was bad in my first blog without having seen it and yes I'm not a woman (most of the time) but it didn't need to be quite so awful. The premise is actually quite sweet and I like Hilary Swank. That may be why this misfire of a movie affected me so much.
Please Avoid.

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