Friday, 4 July 2008

Wanted Review

If you watched a seminal sci-fi movie in 1999 (and no I don't mean The Phantom Menace) then certain bits of Wanted will be strikingly familiar. Take the premise of a dull office drone wanting a new more exciting life because he's convinced he has a calling. Then have him mentored by a wise, cool black guy and team him up with a spunky, kick ass female. Give them all super-human powers, throw in enough 'up to the minute' special effects and a fetish for guns that makes Charlton Heston look like Bambi and you may find yourself quoting Neo. "Woah, Deja Vu".

James McAvoy is the Narrator like main character Wesley Gibson whose life is in the shitter. His girlfriend is fucking his best mate, his boss is a fat annoying bully and he keeps having panic attacks. When the Fox (Angelina Jolie) turns up to tell him his father is dead you'd start to really feel sorry for him until he's told that pops was a super assassin and it runs in the blood. Cut to lots of training as Wes is taught how to stab, shoot and smack anybody in his way. Well anybody that the Loom of Fate decides.

Wow hang on! Did you just say Fruit of the Loom. No i did not. But it would have been almost as ridiculous as the Loooooom of Fateeee. Just keep saying it to yourself, it becomes funnier each time. Loooooooom of Faaaaaaaate. Having what is essentially the main plot device entitled something so gob smackingly hilarious makes the rest of the film quite hard to handle. (Incidentally the Loooom oooof Faaaate is a sewing instrument that tells the assasins who it is they should kill. So its not just a stupid name but a stupid concept too).

Not that its an awful movie, there is fun to be had but only once you take it as a 13 year old wet dream. Morgan takes the money and runs, Angie actually looks pretty when she smiles (not pouting is a good thing Angie) and McAvoy gives the performance of a man under the impression his paycheck will increase by a few million if this is a success. But please, please stop telling the audience how shit we are. "What have you done lately?" poses Wes at the end. Well, while I haven't been trained as a super assassin I've actually had a great week in Somerset, watching music at Glastonbury, soaking up the sun with my friends. So Fuck you Wes.

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