Do you remember when Arnie, the big hard man of Hollywood, went all soft on everyone and danced around in tights and sang Elvis Presley's Are You Lonesome Tonight? to a small child? No, thats because he didn't. He did however get pregnant which is pretty gay. But for Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson ballet and crooning seem to be the key to showing that he's a shary carey man, in Disneys latest nausia cause.
Dwayne (as he insists on being called now) is Joe Kingman an NFL player whose life is (American) football. A selfish player with more money than he could possibly use and a similar amount of women discovers that he has an 8 year old daughter. Lets see, do you think Joe might be able to learn something from this newly acquired offspring? Perhaps learn something about looking out for others and the true meaning of life?
Well spoiler warning ahoy! He does indeed learn lots of lovely things, which to be honest I'm not complaining about. Its a Disney film, of course lessons will be learnt and hugs will be exchanged. What is annoying is the amount of lessons that are learnt and how horribly they are presented. The film is one long running, sports metaphor/lesson espoused/Dwayne looking foolish/lesson learnt combo that repeats itself ad nauseum til the credits roll.
The little girl is especially annoying, coming across like an extra from The West Wing, with so much knowledge about the evils of fast food and such. Rampant consumerism does get a free ride as the little brat seems to shut up about the evils of the world when she's put in a toyshop with all her mates. Oh and the bad takeaway food company is called Fanny Burgers. Americans may think this slightly funny, Brits with as immature a sense of humour as me, find it hilarious.
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